finding the hidden blessings
As January approaches, I usually find myself thinking back on the highlights of my past year.
You might be wondering, why have I highlighted these seemingly sad, confusing, & scary moments of my year?
Because these two moments, which I thought would be the most difficult parts of my year, turned out to be some of the biggest fckin blessings of my entire life.
Jan. 28th: Me, a freshman at Syracuse, 2 weeks into my 2nd semester, hysterically crying in my car, knowing that I will not be successful if I stay at school & that I must go home. At that exact moment, I remember feeling so beyond lost. The thought of coming home with no plan freaked me the f out, but I also knew that I would be miserable if I stayed. Coming home from school in Feb turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I needed a break. I needed a breather. I opened up space for healthy habits, took care of my mental health & started to figure out what was best for me going forward.
June 8th: Me on my 19th birthday, alone, in the ICU being treated for diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). For years, I was in denial about having diabetes & did not properly take care of my blood sugars. Because of this, I unintentionally almost killed myself. This moment wasn’t exactly a blessing, but it was a huge wake-up call that needed to happen. Since the day I was released from the hospital, my health (mental, physical) has been my TOP priority. I completely shifted my lifestyle into a healthy + enjoyable one. After a couple of months of having my blood sugars under control, I noticed so many positive shifts in my life that I never expected. Ex) my mood completely stabilized, aches + irritations that I used to have were gone entirely, etc.
Although moments like these can be beyond difficult, they also happen for a reason. 2020 has been a tough year for most. There are hidden blessings in so many parts of our lives. Sometimes we have to go through the hard shit to find the good. For me, that was definitely the case. I am so grateful for these 2 moments of 2020. What doesn’t kill you for sure makes you stronger.