ONE YEAR SINCE MY NDE

Today is an emotional + weird day. I think it's weird for many reasons, but mainly because of how much I have grown and changed from the person I was on June 5, 2020. On this very day last year, I woke up at 6:30 am projectile vomiting, with a resting heart rate of 140 bpm. The only thing that remotely made any sense to me was labeling what I was experiencing as anxiety. So, I went on with my life. I felt shitty, but I just kept going. After a couple of days, things progressed, and I realized this was much more than anxiety. I knew something was very, very wrong. Little did I know, I was only 12 hours away from potentially dying (more details in my last post).

It's also weird because it is hard for me to fully identify with the person that I was in that hospital bed a year ago. As strange as that is, it also brings me peace because I’m so much happier with who I am now. I feel proud.
I don’t like when folks say “people don’t change.” For me, the beautiful thing about life is that you can always change. You can always grow and get better. You are not defined by your past, but by who you are becoming.

Over this past year, I have gained a very strong sense of self which feels very powerful. I have developed a great inner circle of friends (small but mighty), and removed toxic people, things, and habits from my life. I also found acceptance for my type 1 diabetes and the work I need to do to stay healthy. It really took me falling hard to figure out where I stand in this world.

I was discharged from the hospital last year on my birthday. As June 8th approaches, I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to embark on another year and excited for what year 20 has in store!! I’m even more excited for all of you to come along on this journey with me <3