HOW I WORK THROUGH MY TRIGGERS

Sometimes people say something that they think is completely innocent and harmless, but it can set off a trigger in someone else.

I think many of us can agree that commenting on someone's weight or how much they eat is more harmful than good. Sentences like "I'm so fat," coming from a friend who's skinnier than me, or questions like, "how are you still hungry?" can set off a trigger because of an insecurity inside me.

I recently realized that it's not about blaming the other person for saying something that I find hurtful, it is MY responsibility to figure out how to make myself feel better.

Here are some ways I work through my triggers:

1. Recognize why this person is saying this to me. They are probably projecting their own disordered thoughts onto me out of insecurity. Most often, their intention is not to be hurtful, but my feelings are still real.

2. Disengage. I can RSVP NO to continuing the conversation or giving them validation.

3. It is not necessary to set myself on fire to keep other people warm. I do not need to engage in conversations to be nice to others at the risk of hurting myself.

4. Shift gears. Change the subject to something else: "Omg, did you start season 2 of Ted Lasso?"

5. Walk away. Remove myself from the situation. Go to the bathroom, take a deep breath and say a positive affirmation in the mirror.

6. Don't compare. There is no need to measure up to anyone else. Don't compare my body size or the amount I eat to anyone else. We are all so different.

At the end of the day, I can't control what people say to me. But what I can control is how I react and respond.