Reflecting on a Difficult Month
November was one of the more difficult months I've had in a while. I started the month feeling pretty damn burnt out, and instead of giving myself time to rest, I've certainly done quite the opposite. This November was filled with some heartbreak and more restless nights than not. As a result of this, I fell into a bit of a funk for the second half of the month, experiencing feelings of sadness, lack of motivation, intrusive body image thoughts, and feelings of worthlessness.
But i’m realizing now that November wasn't all somber and gloomy, though. I saw some friends I hadn't seen in months and family members I hadn't seen in years which made my heart warm. I went to 2 Knicks games, and despite the team's losses, I had a ton of fun. I found a new profound passion for poetry– both reading and writing it. I started a photography IG account which has oddly brought my creative side so much enjoyment. I bought a new winter jacket that I am obsessed with, which was a big deal for me because last year, I wouldn't allow myself to buy a coat until I "lost a few lbs." I watched the lunar eclipse with my parents at 4am. I completed a course on antisemitism and learned a lot of new things. I met two of my fav girls from social media in real life and had an incredible day with them in NYC. I created and designed an entire bomb-ass website for myself, which i’m so proud of. And more.
When I sat down to write this, my mindset truly was, "November was a bad month." For whatever reason, it's always easier for me to hold onto the "bad" moments than it is to cherish the good moments. And in doing that, the good moments tend to fall through the cracks.
So I am glad that I just took this time to reflect because in doing so, I realize that while November presented me with many obstacles, there were also many special, memorable moments. And I friken made it through! That’s something to be proud of.
We have a lot more control over our minds, thoughts, and memories than we realize.
The fact that December is here is actually mind-boggling, but I have a warm feeling that it will be a better month for me, and I'm ready to take it on🎱☁️✌🏼🦦💗
